By DR. BESSIE FLETCHER
Did you know the dynamics of a mother and daughter relationship can affect the major decisions of the daughter?
There are many dynamics in a mother-daughter relationship, almost too many to discuss, in this article!
As a Christian clinical psychologist, I’ve heard a few of these dynamics over the past 19 years.
What showed up most often during my clinical sessions, however, were abandonment, lack of love, rejection, being misunderstood, preferred treatment of a sibling, disconnection and jealousy, just to name a few.
The one dynamic that I focused on as the core of this type of relationship is the lack-of-communication. But, what causes the lack of communication between a mother and her daughter?
It’s when the two don’t know how to manage their intraconversations, those ongoing conversations in their heads. Each one has her own intra-conversation and they don’t know how to bring them together. I teach my clients a simple technique on how to manage those ongoing intra-conversations to gain a better control over their minds. Their inability to control the intra-conversations can cause mental confusion and even depression.
When they learn this technique, it helps them to clear their minds allowing them to make informed decisions. It even adds peace as both seek to understand who they are and the purpose of their relationship. It will enhance the mother and daughter relationship, creating a stronger bond of love, trust, and healing, with a willing ness to forgive.
I remind mothers; that they set the tone of the relationship with their daughters. Often when I tell a mother that the communication process between her and her daughter started at conception, she looks at me in amazement.
Yes, mothers, the dynamics start at conception. The nine months pregnancy determines the temperament of your daughter and sets the communication atmosphere of your mother-daughter interactions.
Let’s look at it this way; there are 86,400 seconds in a day. Which means mothers, your daughters are taking in 86,400 images of you based on your reactions to any given situation. Her subconscious mind records what she sees and hears from you. If during that time you are displaying negative behavior, when she is thirteen you may look up and wonder what happened to your little girl. She’s transforming into her mother, a transformation which most women don’t realize until they are in their 40s.
Question! Have you ever said, or heard this statement? I do not want to be like my mother.
Surprise! In Ezekiel 16:44, God said, “As is the mother, so is her daughter.” (KJV)