Mothers, can you hear the hidden cry for help behind your daughter’s voice?
I believe every woman has a nurturing sense. I call that her six sense. When you become a mother your six senses become intensified. You can listen beyond the cry of your baby. A mother knows when her baby is telling her she is hungry, wet, hurting or want to feel the loving arms of her mother.
As your daughter grows up you will continue to use the nurturing power of your six senses, for guidance. For example, your daughter is three years old; she talks well enough for you to understand her. But, you still bend down to gaze into her eyes, making sure she understands what you said to her.
The Bible says in Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
On that day of the birth of your daughter, the Doctor placed her in your arms. The first thing most mothers do is to look into her daughter’s eyes and say hello, welcoming her into the World! From that moment, each time you nurture her you looked into her eyes and you talked to her. You were training her to look at you, listen to you, as you communicated your love for her. You are training her up; she is getting used to looking into your eyes as you talk to her. If you continue this communication, she will not depart from it. In fact, she will grow to expect it.
At what point mothers did you stop communicating with your eyes toward your daughters? In most cases, you are unconscious of the changes in your communications with her, but; she isn’t.
As mothers, some of us stop looking into her eyes for clarity of understanding. We assume that she understands and move on. Keep in mind, your daughter knows of the changes in your communications with her. She’s left to analyze those changes as she seeks answers to the changes. One of the first things she may notice is the lack of time and interest you show her in her time needs.
When a daughter assumes that her mother doesn’t have time for her, she will create a space of comfort for herself, which includes her friends; she is looking for someone to fill that missing piece that she believes her mother took away, that loving-nurturing energy. This lack can create a separation in the mother-daughter bond.
Now, the daughter begins to keep secrets from her mother. She lives a separate mental life, she is using her intra-conversations (those conversations within her head) to figure out how to decide for her life, even at an early age.
Mothers if you want a loving and trusting relationship with your daughter, go back to the way you trained her. Hold her hands and look into her eyes, for sixty seconds. It will amaze you at what sixty seconds can to do to your hearts. Try it.
Dr. Bessie Fletcher B Fletcher, firstname.lastname@example.org