By DR. BESSIE
PHOTO COURTESY OF FLETCHER
Can a mother be responsible for the outcome of her daughter?
Many mothers may say, no. I am only responsible for her until she is eighteen years old and then she eligible to make her own decisions. Did God say that, or the world?
Your impressions of being a mother will live forever in the soul/mind of your daughter and even your granddaughter. Even after you’ve left this earth, your words, thoughts, and behaviors will linger and could affect the decisionmaking of your daughter.
Mothers, you will notice as you follow me on this journey as a columnist helping to heal mother and daughter relationships, that I focus more on the mother than the daughter. Why, because, the mother was chosen by God to rear the daughter.
God says it best, “As is the mother, so is her daughter.” (Ezekiel 16:44) Every woman is a daughter, and each has her own unique mother and daughter story. Each story has its own imperfections. In other words, there’s no perfect mother and daughter relationship.
As an only child, with only one daughter, I can see the good and the imperfections in my relationship with my mother and my daughter. I think one of the main differences between my era and my daughter’s is my effort to listen more than my mother did. My mother and I had good communications until I got into a conversation she didn’t want to discuss. When I asked her why not, she would say because I said so. I hated when she said that because I knew then the conversation was done. Usually, I would wait for a few days and try again to get her to finish the conversation. Sometimes it worked, but most times it didn’t. Because I fought for my answers, she often told me, I should have been an attorney.
I used this particular imperfection to become a better listener for my daughter. One way to grow from imperfections in your mother and daughter relationship is to take a negative and make it a positive.
Bessie Fletcher, (known as Dr. Bessie) is the founder and senior minister of Mother and Daughter Faith Trust Ministries, and the Mother and Daughter Bible College, www.mdbn.org