heart-logo_web.pngDear Dr. Monique,
Would differing religious or political views matter really if two persons really love each other?
Differing Views

Dear Differing Views,
Many relationships have failed even when the two persons involved “really love each other.” On the other hand a famous political couple pops to my mind when I consider a marriage that has lasted despite radically different political views. A successful relationship has multiple facets and I believe that one such is tolerance. The couple needs to examine whether each party is able to tolerate the other’s different religious or political views. This requires the ability to accept the difference in views and avoiding the temptation to try to change the other’s views.

Dear Dr. Monique,
What suggestions do you have to help a couple discuss a serious problem in a calm and effective way?
Discussing a Serious Problem

Dear Discussing a Serious Problem,
The first requirement is that you both be calm. To this end I recommend raising the issue when you are both relaxed, in a private setting when neither of you are pressed for time (bedtime may not be wise). If the discussion gets too heated it may help to leave it for a while and then revisit it. Similarly if answers to the problem aren’t forthcoming, don’t rush it. Allow more time to think it through. Both of you should be allowed to air your solutions without judgment. Finally be loving and respectful to your partner as you both decide on the final answer.

Dear Dr. Monique,
I have been married for the past 7 years and I am bored. I am at my sexual peak as a woman and I lust after other men all day. Before I cheat on my husband, what would you suggest I do or we do to rekindle that fire?
Bored in Marriage

Dear Bored in Marriage,
I am certainly glad that you are reaching out before you do anything that you might regret. As you probably already know, good communication is an important ingredient in marriage. Speak with your husband about your desire to enhance your sex life and try to convince him that you should both approach it as a team. Use the opportunity to discover things that you each find sexually stimulating and introduce them to your relationship. Hopefully your commitment to your husband will sustain you through this learning exercise and the results will provide the right antidote for your boredom.

Dr. Monique is an award-winning graduate of Harvard Medical School, who completed her residency in Obstetrics and Gynecology at Georgetown University Medical Center in Washington D.C. She has years of experience in counseling and discussing relationship issues. Ask her your questions at drmonique@sfltimes.com