heart-logo_web.pngDear Dr. Monique,
Why are some women so cheap, greedy and love to take away another woman’s man?
Why Tek People Man

Dear Why Tek People Man,
Obviously I can’t speak to the motives of all women but here are some reasons of which I am aware.  Some single, perhaps lonely and vulnerable women are hotly pursued by these married men and are misled into believing that the marriage is on the verge of collapse.
They step somewhat innocently into the relationship fully believing that it will continue and even lead to marriage. There are other women who are disillusioned with dating relationships and prefer the security of being the other woman, as compared to the increased vulnerability to infidelity that may be associated with being No.1. Some others may see it as an opportunity to improve their financial standing. From my observation of these scenarios, little thought is spent by these women on the effect it will have on the betrayed woman. Thought is rather focused on the benefit to one’s self but that is perhaps a “normal” human trait.

Therefore my advice is, any woman who is concerned about her man cheating is to focus on factors that will encourage her man to stay at home rather than worrying about the “other women.”  If her man can’t manage to be faithful then I think the next question for her is ‘will she take it or leave it?’

_________________________

 

Dear Dr. Monique,

I am sleeping with a man half my age.  The sex is amazing and he makes me feel young and vibrant.  The only thing is, I am married.  I don’t want to let go of my young lover, but I’m beginning to feel guilty.  What should I do?
Feeling Guilty


Dear Feeling Guilty,
It seems to me that you have at least two serious decisions to make.  Is the sex with your young lover worth your marriage or do you even want to remain in your marriage?    Assuming you still value your marriage, continuing this relationship will not enhance its success.  On the other hand, if you choose to end your marriage you should be aware that although sex is important for relationships, relationships based on sex are highly unlikely to be long term.  I hope that consideration of these factors will lead you to the best decision.

____________________

Dear Dr. Monique,
I recently did an HIV test and unfortunately tested positive.  However, I just started courting a really nice girl and I don’t know how to tell her that I’m infected. What should I do?
HIV positive and courting

Dear HIV positive and courting,
I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis but fortunately there are many treatments available that can allow you a long and healthy life.  That being said, I am pretty sure you would never have wished this diagnosis on yourself or anyone else that you care about. 
With this in mind, I think that it is imperative that you reveal your diagnosis to this person.  Let her decide whether or not she wants to continue the relationship.  I am almost certain in saying that if she discovers your diagnosis any other way, it will destroy the relationship.

Dr. Monique is an award-winning graduate of Harvard Medical School, who completed her residency in Obstetrics and Gynecology at Georgetown University Medical Center in Washington D.C. She has years of experience in counseling and discussing relationship issues. Ask her your questions at drmonique@sfltimes.com